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Self Love as Self Positivity Bias

Self Love as Self Positivity Bias

(Article by Surbhi Agarwal popularly known as @mum_in_vogue)


In this new era of Instagram, you would find influencers promoting the concept of self-love without adding much substance to their advice. This concept may be differently perceived by different people. Some may find it to be futile, baseless while others others taking it way too seriously. Seeing self-love as a narcissistic pursuit may not be a good idea while there are scientific evidences suggesting it can have a positive impact on a person’s mental well-being.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines self-love as “an appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue.” Self-love isn’t just the act of saying ‘I love you’ to yourself in front of the mirror and move on with your day, it goes far deeper than this. Rather than just saying few affirmations to yourself, it’s important to trae yourself with kindness, accept yourself for who you are with those tiny imperfections and minor flaws. Self-love can be practiced by putting yourself first and learning to appreciate yourself while unapologetically rejecting any societal abuse to your self-esteem.


  1. Forgiving yourself when you mess things up and take it as a learning experience
  2. Meeting your own needs
  3. Being assertive
  4. Not letting others take advantage of or abuse you
  5. Prioritising your health and wellbeing
  6. Spending time around people who support you and build you up (and avoiding people who don’t)
  7. Asking for help
  8. Recognising your strengths
  9. Valuing yourself
  10. Pursuing your interests and goals
  11. Challenging yourself while you compete with your own self
  12. Accepting your imperfections
  13. Setting realistic expectations
  14. Noticing your progress and effort

Loving yourself doesn’t mean being selfish and taking care of your wants only. Rather it focuses on taking care of your needs. Procrastinating about someone loving you the way you should love yourself is not just silly, it makes no sense. One should not expect to receive love from another if you are not giving that love to yourself. When you seek love from external sources, you are allowing it to be taken away from you making you feel empty and broken on the inside. Self-love liberates you. This might a bit of a clichè but like all clichès there is some meaning to the idea of being able to love others once you are able to love yourself.

Seeking validation from others has to stop and this is achievable when you selflessly and confide in yourself. Confidence starts with being confident in oneself.  Knowing who you are and that you are an autonomous capable person. Love yourself because that will make you a happier and contended person helping you lead a better life.

Self-love is all about identifying your needs and making them a priority in your life. It’s about doing what truly feels right for you without hurting others and bring hard on yourself.

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